You are alive. Therefore you are a survivor. No one escapes child abuse.
Some experience it to a greater degree than others.
The most well-intentioned, loving parents err because to err is to be human.
Most of us become parents at an early age and most of us perpetuate the cycle of abuse......"The sins of the fathers/mothers.............
Those of us who suffered mild emotional neglect or misunderstanding are wounded; those of us who witnessed abuse of one family member to another are wounded more deeply; those of us who suffered emotional abuse will be scarred; those of us who were victims of physical abuse will be more deeply scarred; those of us who were victims of sexual abuse will be devastated.
.........and these are the golden years of childhood.
Until a child reaches the age of reason which in the "average" child is somewhere around the age of six or seven he is like a sponge.........all events, occurrences in his world are absorbed ......he doesn't understand.
He is feeling his way.
When this same child reaches the age of puberty he will begin to "act out"
all that he has absorbed.
When this same child is a little older he will become a parent.
Adult children raising children in our world
and
the cycle of abuse is perpetuated.
IF YOU ARE ALIVE
YOU ARE
A SURVIVOR
You have been abused. Maybe you continue the cycle by choosing a partner who abuses you........Maybe you continue the cycle by abusing your partner, your children.............Maybe you chose alcohol/drugs or other means to continue the cycle of abuse by living alone and abusing yourself, feeling powerless and a victim of circumstance.........Maybe you are living in denial, unable, unwilling to allow the truth of your suffering to set you free.
"TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL"
A CHILD'S BILL OF PERSONAL SAFETY RIGHTS
OR MAYBE
YOU
HAVE FOUND
THE COURAGE TO HEAL
1. The right to trust one's instincts and funny feelings.
2. The right to privacy.
3. The right to say no to unwanted touch or affection.
4. The right to question adult authority and to say no to
adults' demands and requests.
5. The right to lie and not answer questions.
6. The right to refuse gifts.
7. The right to be rude and unhelpful.
8. The right to bite, hit or kick.
9. The right to ask for help.
YOUR CHILDREN SHOULD KNOW...this info is taken from "Your Children Should Know"
by Flora Colao & Tamar Hosansky
In order to teach children the skills to protect themselves, it's necessary to talk frankly. Personal safety strategies can be presented in the same manner as fire and traffic safety -- with straightfoward, practical information and explanations.
Self-defense is anything that enables children to escape dangerous situations. It can be crossing the street if being followed; not answering questions over the telephone; refusing to open the door to a stranger; saying no; screaming and yelling; making a scene; calling for help; running away; talking calmly to an attacker; pretending to cooperate with an attacker; or physically resisting an assault. It is a state of mind and body that allows children to feel comfortable and secure. It's the belief that their own safety is more important than the feelings of the assailant. And it's the knowledge that they are in control of their own well-being.
Children need to be given rights over their bodies and feelings in order to prevent abuse effectively. The above "Child's Bill of Rights" is crucial.
When introducing these rights to children, be simple and concrete, using language they can understand. Encourage children to think for themselves by using imaginative what-if games, role-playing, fantasies, or incidents from your own childhood. Always acknowledge the child's contribution, thus helping them to develop the ability to do spontaneous problem-solving in unexpected situations.
AND MAYBE NOW YOU ARE PREPARED TO BE PART OF THE SOLUTION TO BREAK THE CYCLE OF CHILD ABUSE
You were a child........it wasn't your fault.........know this, believe this.
Find your voice..........let your truth be heard.........know you are not alone though you may be feeling very alone.....no child escapes abuse.
HEALING
THE
CHILD
WITHIN
If you know you were sexually abused I highly recommend that you visit Lynn's site : "Thru a Child's Eyes"
Please visit the Emotional Healing Pages and "Keep it Simple" pages on my website "Dancing in the Light"
SOME RECOMMENDED READING
The Courage to Heal, a Guide for Women Survivors of Child
Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis
Childhood's Thief, One Woman's Journey of Healing from Sexual Abuse by Rose Mary Evans, M.S.W.
The Alcoholic Family by Peter Steinglass M.D.
Healing the Incest Wound, Adult Survivors in Therapy,
by Christine A. Courtois
Healing the Child Within, Discovery & Recovery for Adult
Children of Dysfunctional Families
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay
Males at Risk: The Other Side of Child Abuse by Frank Bolton
Recovery for Male Victims of Child Abuse by Hank Estrada
WALK THE WALK
WITH ME
ON THE
HEALING JOURNEY
It's time to speak out........it's time to break the cycle of abuse that exists on our planet..... .... We are entering the peaceful third millenium.......I wish you love & light........Cally :-)
