"It is not enough to do right things and say right things. You must also "think" right things. Positive thoughts can be powerful influences for good. Negative thoughts can make you physically ill. Be sure there is no unpeaceful situation between yourself and any other human being, for only when you have ceased to harbour unkind thoughts can you attain inner harmony."
FORGIVENESS IS NOT ALWAYS EASY
At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered,
to forgive the one who inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
The first step in forgiveness
is
the willingness to forgive.
FORGIVENESS can only begin when we realize that we have as much right to serenity and happiness as we do to our righteous anger.
FORGIVENESS is not a gift we give to others,
but one we give to ourselves.
The question is not about whether or not they deserve it,
but whether or not we deserve spiritually whole lives.
Forgiveness begins with an act of will,
a decision to be victor rather than victim.
FORGIVENESS is not forgetting. We cannot forget nor should we.
Those experiences and even the pain they caused,
have a great deal to teach us,
both about not being victimized again
and
about not victimizing others.
FORGIVENESS is not condoning.
By forgiving people who hurt us, we are not saying that what was done to us was acceptable or "not so bad".
FORGIVENESS is not absolution.
We do not absolve our transgressor of all responsibility for their actions.
They still are responsible for what they did
and must make their own peace with the past.
FORGIVENESS is not a form of self-sacrifice.
It is not swallowing the truth and grinning and bearing.
It is not about playing the martyr and saying that
it's all okay.
If we are not ready to forgive be honest about it.
That is better than pretending to forgive.
Despite the advantages of forgiveness
many of us would rather throw away a relationship
with a relative, a friend or spouse
than do the hard work
of giving up resentment.
"Few of us ever can fully forget the wrongs which have been done to us," Rabbi Klein writes. "Forgiveness
is knowing that something happened
which made us furious
and then deciding,
in spite of everything,
to deny anger its power."
WHETHER OR NOT
YOU MAKE A DECISION TO FORGIVE
DEPENDS
ON HOW HIGH YOU WANT TO EVOLVE
OR DEVELOP YOURSELF.
WHAT STOPS US FROM FORGIVING?
--Not letting go of the past
--Thinking that if we forgive we'll get hurt again
--Wanting to punish those who wronged us
--Thinking that we have the power by not forgiving
--The illusion that if this hadn't happened, you'd have a perfect life
--The illusion of being good, ie: "I'm good - they're bad"
